faceBook FunnY QuoTe

Funny quotes on facebook used by millions of people all around the world.

• I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)
• All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
• Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
• Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
• Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
• I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
• I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
• Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
• Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)
• The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
• I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won :)
• Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
• How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
• Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)
• Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
• Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)

• Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)  

 TOP FUNNY QUOTE

>I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)

>Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey :P
Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, and then turn it to the left. Repeat the exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

>At the end of the day, one thing we have in common is that we are all screwed up in some way.
I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight…..it’s called super glue.

>The awkward moment when a GPS tells a gay person to go straight :)6. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

>Two roommates were watching the news. News: Serial killer on the loose. Blonde: Oh no! (runs to kitchen) Brunette: What are you doing? Blonde: Saving my cereal!

>Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?” Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”

>One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping. Didn’t realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note: “Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad.”

>What is meant by Mixed Emotions? Your enemy falls from 17th floor on your brand new Audi and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry!

Hope you had a good laugh! :)

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